musedelirium asked:


Aaaaagggghhhhh

TAMARA

iwatchtvallthetime asked:


some dumb brain teaser but answer it anyway..

RAY

♥christee needs a Valetine too! asked:


and they stumble upon some tracks.

The first blond says to the second one … “Hey look, those are DEER tracks!’

The second one says … “You are so wrong! Those aren’t deer tracks … they’re BEAR tracks.”

So the first one responds … “You are nuts!! They are DEER tracks … for sure!”

And they were still arguing when the train hit ‘em …

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*

tee hee hee!

Side note: No offense intended as I am obviously a blond. We gotta be able to laugh at life … even ourselves … cause we’d go crazy after awhile if we didn’t!

Peace!
Espresso … I have no idea! lol That is just the way the joke was told to me. Feel free to change it up if ya want! That’s the beauty of jokes!

And I just want to add that it’s not me giving the “thumbs down”. I think it’s pretty sad that someone has to do that to harmless answers like these. Karma ladies and gents … Karma!
Thanks for the 10 Cats!

And I agree rascoep … totally! =)

HORACE

Chank asked:


When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, “Welcome, Forest. We’ve heard a lot about you.” He continued, “Unfortunately, it’s getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in.” Related Image

“Okay,” said Forest. “I hope it’s not too hard. I’ve already been through a test. My momma used to say, ‘Life is like a final exam. It’s hard.’ ”

“Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are.”

1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?”

2) How many seconds are in a year?

3) What is God’s first name?

“Well, sir,” said Forest, “The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Today and Tomorrow.”

St. Peter looked surprised and said, “Well, that wasn’t the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer.”

“The next question,” said Forest, “How many seconds are in a year? Twelve.”

“Twelve?” said St. Peter, surprised and confused.

“Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd …”

St. Peter interrupted him. “I see what you mean. I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too.”

“And the last question,” said Forest, “What is God’s first name? It’s Andy.”

“Andy?” said St. Peter, in shock. “How did you come up with ‘Andy’?”

“I learned it in church. We used to sing about it.” Forest broke into song, “Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own.”

St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, “Run, Forest, Run!”

STACEY

I color outside the lines asked:


to deliver a picnic basket to her gramma. Before heading out, her mom tells her, “Little Red Riding Hood, be careful. The Big Bad Wolf is out there and he will pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and f**k your little red socks off.” Little Red Riding Hood takes a shotgun out of the closet and puts it next to her and says, “It’s ok, I can handle it.”
So, Little Red Riding Hood starts out on her journey. First she runs into the Three Bears. They say, “Little Red Riding Hood, what are you doing out here all alone? Don’t you know the Big Bad Wolf is out here and he’s gonna pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties, and f**k your little red socks off?” To which Red Riding Hood shows them the shotgun and says, “It’s ok, I’m covered.”
So, Red Riding Hood continues on, and sees the Three Little Pigs. They say, “Little Red Riding Hood, what are you doing out here alone? The Big Bad Wolf is out and when he finds you he’s gonna
find you and pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and f**k your little red socks off.” Red Riding Hood again, pulls out the gun and says “I’ll be alright”.
So, Red Riding Hood is walking and she sees none other but the Big Bad Wolf. the Wolf says , “Little Red Riding Hood, I have found you! I’m gonna pull up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and f**k your little red socks off”.
Red Riding Hood pulls up her little red dress, pulls down her litle red panties, lays down on the ground, points the gun at the Wolf and says “NO. You’re gonna EAT ME like the BOOKS says!”

ARMANDO

FaerieWhings asked:


and looks up and says, “Hey Koala! What are you doing?” The koala says: “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.” So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints. After a while the little lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’ and is going to get a drink from the river. But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: “What’s the matter with you?” The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says:

“Holy Shiiiiiiiiiiit duuude …how much water did you drink?!!”
The koala was so stoned he thought the lizard grew to a crocodile from drinking water.

GALEN

vana asked:


They were terribly hungry and didn’t found anything to eat!
But soon enough buddha found an apple tree with just 1 apple on it. He was about to eat it when jesus said: “GIVE ME THAT.The bible says to share what you have with your brothers.” Buddha reluctantly give the apple to jesus. They went on walking. It got so dark soon and terribly enough were they hungry this time too… Jesus soon found a plum tree with just 1 plum on it and was beginning to eat when buddha said “give me that , the bible says to share what you have with your friends!” Now , what was the reply of jesus??
This is easy people. Just make some answer that makes sense! If you have read the bible it’s great! If not, fine! If you are a follower of buddhism that also great…. Anyway you could answer this if you have some sort of humor or atleast commonsense…..Don’t give up….
i know you people are smart enough to know that jesus and buddha lived years apart! But just think they incarnate again and met each other…. Giving you another clue…buddha didn’t get the fruit.. What would jesus have said??
buddha knows what the bible says… Religions can’t be boundaries to such holy personalities!!
Baby , there you again! Come on….We are not looking whether bible was written at that time or not…. Give me my question’s answer….come on people try up your humor sense!
I don’t know which to select as the best answer. Putting to vote! And the answer i think would be for the question is that Jesus says” It is written in the bible that you should not desire other’s property”!

BARBRA